Prenups Aren’t for Divorce 

How affluent couples are reframing the conversation nobody wants to have — and why it’s one of the most financially protective decisions a family can make. 

The Problem With the Word ‘Prenup’ 

The moment someone suggests a prenuptial agreement, the room changes. Eyes shift. Defenses rise. Someone says: “So you’re already planning for us to fail?” 

This is the cultural freight that the word prenup carries — that it is, at its core, a divorce document. A hedge against love. A formal acknowledgment that forever might have an expiration date. 

That framing is not just inaccurate. For families with significant wealth, it is actively harmful. Because it keeps one of the most important financial planning conversations off the table — often until it is too late. 

What a Prenup Is Actually For 

A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that defines, in advance, how assets and financial obligations will be managed during a marriage and what happens to them if the marriage ends — whether through divorce or death. 

For high-net-worth families, that definition covers an enormous amount of ground: business ownership stakes, inheritance rights, trust structures, investment portfolios, real estate, and the protection of wealth that predates the marriage. It is, at its core, a clarity document. 

And clarity, especially in families where significant assets are involved, is not unromantic. It is responsible. In fact, only about 1 in 5 married couples in North America currently has a prenuptial agreement — a figure that likely drops significantly among those who would benefit most from one.[1] 

The Great Wealth Transfer and the Marriage Risk 

We are living through the largest wealth transfer in history — an estimated $84 trillion moving between generations by 2045.[2] For many families, that means adult children will soon inherit — or already have inherited — significant assets. And many of those children are married, or will be, without protections in place. 

In a community property province or state — and in many equitable distribution jurisdictions — assets received as an inheritance can, under certain circumstances, become commingled with marital property over time. A family trust that a child contributes to during a marriage. A business interest that grows with the help of both spouses. Real estate purchased partly with inherited funds. 

Without a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that explicitly defines these boundaries, what was meant to stay in the family can become subject to division. This is one of the most common and most preventable wealth transfers that families never plan for. 

The Conversation Wealthy Parents Are Not Having 

A Harris Poll survey conducted for Axios found that while 50% of American adults at least somewhat support the use of prenups, only about 1 in 5 married couples has one.[1] Among younger generations, adoption is rising: 47% of Millennials and 41% of Gen Z who have been married or engaged entered a prenup.[3] But among older generations — the ones currently holding and transferring significant wealth — prenup conversations remain largely absent. 

This creates a risk that plays out in a very specific way. Parents spend decades building and protecting wealth. They create trusts, update wills, work with estate attorneys. And then their adult child gets married without a conversation about how that marriage intersects with the family’s financial structure. 

The marriage ends. And a portion of the family wealth leaves with the ex-spouse. 

Why the Conversation Is Hard — and How to Frame It

The resistance to prenuptial conversations usually comes from one of three places: the belief that it signals a lack of trust or commitment; the discomfort of discussing divorce before the wedding; or simply the social awkwardness of bringing it up. 

Each of these is addressable — with the right framing. 

A prenuptial agreement does not signal that you expect the marriage to fail. It signals that you are both adults who take your financial lives seriously, respect each other’s independent history, and want to enter the marriage with complete transparency. The most successful prenups are built on full financial disclosure from both parties — which means the conversation itself, regardless of what the agreement says, creates a healthier financial foundation for the marriage. 

Research from HelloPrenup found that 87% of users who completed a prenup said they wanted to clarify which property was separate versus marital — not to gain advantage, but to avoid future ambiguity.[4] The goal is clarity, not conflict. 

Postnuptial Agreements: The Overlooked Option 

For couples who are already married, a postnuptial agreement serves a similar purpose. Though less commonly discussed, postnuptial agreements are legally valid in most Canadian provinces and American states and can address many of the same concerns — including the treatment of inherited assets, business interests, and family trusts. 

A major liquidity event, an inheritance, the launch of a family business, a significant change in either spouse’s financial situation — all of these can be appropriate triggers for a postnuptial agreement conversation. The goal is the same: to create clarity and protection before a crisis makes it necessary. 

What Families With Significant Assets Should Consider 

At minimum, three conversations are worth having before or shortly after a marriage involving significant assets: 

1. The inheritance conversation. Does your child understand how inherited assets could be treated in their jurisdiction if they are commingled with marital property? Does their partner understand the family’s estate plan?
2. The business interest conversation. If your child owns or will own equity in a family business, what happens to that interest in a divorce? Is there a buy-sell agreement in place? Who controls the valuation?
3. The trust beneficiary conversation. Trust distributions made to a beneficiary during a marriage may, depending on how they are handled, become part of the marital estate. Has your family’s trust structure been reviewed in the context of the beneficiary’s marriage?

None of these conversations are comfortable. All of them are important. 

The role of an advisor — and of legal counsel — is to facilitate these conversations with enough structure to reduce emotional charge and enough expertise to ensure the right questions get asked. 

A prenup is not a declaration of doubt. It is a declaration of financial maturity. And for families with meaningful wealth to protect, it may be one of the most important documents that doesn’t get on anyone’s checklist — until it is too late. 

At 49th Parallel, we help families integrate these conversations into their broader wealth planning — before the moment of crisis, and with the full picture in front of everyone.  

Sources 

[1]  Harris Poll / Axios — Prenup Rates and U.S. Marriage, September 2023  ·  axios.com 

[2]  Smith Patrick CPAs — Passing the Torch Without Burning Bridges (citing $84 trillion estimate)  ·  smithpatrickcpa.com 

[3]  HelloPrenup — Prenup Statistics and Insights 2024  ·  helloprenup.com 

[4]  HelloPrenup — Prenup Statistics 2023  ·  helloprenup.com